Doug Blough

One real quick-like way to turn readers against a writer is to get political, so prepare the torches and pitchforks. Let me be clear, (cliché borrowed from Kamala), I'm not part of the Trump Derangement Syndrome from either direction. Yes, TDS attacks both sides and I'm a true Trump Independent if ever there was one; sometimes like him; sometimes can't stand him. And now I submit some random, barely coherent political insights.

• After four years of panic worrying what becomes of America if something happens to Joe and Kamala becomes our leader, it's now a real possibility we spend the next four years worrying what becomes of us should something happen to Kamala and knucklehead, (he said it; I didn't) Tim Walz deals with Putin, Xi Chinpin and Kim Jong Un. Kaboom!

• I find it immensely ironic that during the Iraq war, I harangued against war hawk Dick Cheney with hard core righties, risking their unbridled ire (remember our debate, Ben McD?). Cheney is a wonderful man I was told, a true American patriot. Now that same group thinks he should be hung alongside Mike Pence for defending his daughter and not backing their latest version of a true patriot. What strange bedfellows partisans make!

• Speaking of Pence and partisanship — each side only hearing what they choose to hear, a few months ago a close relative, a real rightie, sounded shocked when I mentioned Jan. 6 rioters threatening to hang Pence. He had never heard that, so I Googled the story for him. I was astonished, thinking everyone alive had heard that one. Heck, Fox is my overwhelming news choice (though I'm able to separate truth from partisan hogwash) and that's where I repeatedly heard it.

• Kamala uses Trump's “the enemy from within” comment against him, but I don't see that as a stretch with no cash bail putting muggers and murderers back on our streets. George Soros is the embodiment of enemy from within.

• If Trump really wanted to win, he'd have done the following: No. 1: Debate, debate, debate. Refusing to do another one gave the impression he lost the first so is buk buk, buk chicken to do a second. Tulsi Gabbard could have coached him how not to take the debate bait of arguing crowd size again. No. 2: He'd have quit calling Jan. 6 “a day of love.” Come on man! Even if you think it wasn't as bad as it really was, love has no role in the discussion.

No. 3: I'd have shut Tucker Carlson up! This “Daddy's gonna be angry and spank the bad children” crap was beyond creepy and counterproductive. And to line up a comedian who specializes in controversial, roast humor to speak at your giant rally? Come on, man! Are you shocked he fired up every Puerto Rican to vote Kamala? Tucker, Tony Hinchcliffe … why not throw in Marjorie Taylor-Green and Alex Jones?

• Trump was on the Fox show of the funniest commentator of all time, Greg Gutfeld a month ago, and he uncharacteristically came off as darn near lovable. He also had on Bill Maher a couple months ago, and he came off as darn near conservative. Gutfeld just brings out the best in people, but I'm not sure he could have pulled it off with cackling Kamala.

• If we had Tulsi Gabbard or Nikki Haley on the ticket, Kamala may have cried “No mas!” by now.

• A word of warning to JD Vance, who also surprised me coming off very likable in the debate: Don't get too comfortable with the GOP love-fest — disagree with Trump one time on any issue, or 10 years down the road you won't endorse a candidate on the right, and they'll throw you under the bus so fast, your head will be spinning to the left.

And that's my stab at humorist suicide. Regardless, I'm Doug Blough and I approved this message.