Visibly shaken just moments after meeting privately with a father who lost his entire family Feb. 10 in a Byron shooting, Gov. Mark Gordon took the microphone at a mental health town hall meeting Tuesday night in the tiny town.

“This hurts a lot,” he said, seemingly struggling to find words to describe the tragic loss of four children and their mother on a Monday afternoon. “To think of those four beautiful children, and how unfortunate it was that they were taken so quickly. And the challenge that young mother had.”

Yet, he was encouraged to see a full house. Local organizations specializing in mental health care came in force to offer their services to the town and highlight programs for the residents of Wyoming in need of immediate and longterm care.

Gordon grew up in Kaycee, population 247, and understands how losing a resident can hurt the community, he said. He has championed programs to reduce suicide, educate residents on available programs and to end the stigma of asking for help with mental health issues. He reiterated the importance of local organizations, churches and neighbors, saying they are “valuable [resources] when we think about what can happen in a blink of an eye” in helping those who are suffering.

“It’s just so critical that we reach out to neighbors and just to ask, ‘How are you doing today?’ and not be afraid if something feels wrong. Or to say, ‘I need a little bit of help,’” he said.

Speaking to Harshman triggered memories of losing his first wife. He said when a tragic loss happens there is often support for the first few weeks, but then that support begins to wane.

“That’s when the community’s got to be there. And I know you will be because that’s what we do when we love each other — we love our neighbors,” he said. “Just be there for them.”

His usual strength when speaking was missing. He spoke quietly, often looking for the right words to express his feelings.

“We can lift each other up, and we can remember what great promise those four children had ... and remember that every day,” he said.

Harshman wasn’t ready for a public appearance, but wanted to meet with Gordon. Mayor Allan Clark, who also met with the grieving father, had a message from Harshman for those in attendance.

“He wanted me to give you a big thank you for all the prayers and concern — and all that you’ve done for him and for his family,” he said.

Clark also said Harshman asked the group not to be judgmental.

“Don’t judge his wife. [Cliff] said she was a beautiful mother, a beautiful wife and a beautiful child of our Heavenly Father,” Clark said.

Clark knew the family members lost on that cold day and it triggered memories of losing one of his own children. He and the members of the town council organized the event, wanting to help ease the pain in communities saddened by the tragedy.

“I think one of the reasons this hurts us all so much is because we knew them and we loved them,” Clark said.

News of the loss has been heard internationally. Communities from Wyoming to Africa have joined in prayer for the families involved and more than a quarter-million dollars has been raised to support those left behind. However, many may only consider the incident as yet another mass shooting statistic without considering the cost of programs dedicated to serving those with mental health issues.

Attendee Gilbert Cordova said his son chose counseling as his career and is afraid that many clients who rely on Medicaid will fall through the cracks due to proposed cuts to the program.

“A lot of his clients are on Medicaid. What he’s concerned about is, if they lose that they can’t afford to go to counseling,” he said.

He asked Gordon if the state has resources not affected by federal grants. Gordon reassured him that there are state resources available.

“We have resources that you can access that will help,” Gordon replied.

There were several organizations in the crowd, including Kelly Headley, a substance abuse mental health ombudsman for the state.

Headley arranges to find therapists by name and services from local organizations for those who are struggling to find the right resources.

“I can help make that connection much easier. And that’s what I’m out there for. So if anybody needs another resource, I’m there, and I’m under the governor in the Department of Health, so I also speak to the state on a regular basis,” she said.

She also communicates with legislators “so they know from boots on the ground about important issues, what we need and how to maybe look towards meeting some of those goals.”

Oxbow Counseling Center brought a half dozen counselors to the meeting, letting those in attendance know they were willing to step away from the meeting to speak with anyone in immediate need, and to introduce the organization and its extensive list of programs to the residents in the Big Horn Basin.

“We want you to know that our primary goal in being here is just to wrap our arms around this community when you need us,” said the Oxbow Center’s CEO Mary Johnson.

The center is the result of a merge between three community mental health care centers, including Bighorn Basin Counseling, Yellowstone Behavioral Health and Oxbow Counseling Center. They joined hands together to offer more services, she said.

Oxbow, along with support from the governor’s office, has a new crisis stabilization center being built that offers immediate crisis support for up to 30 days.

Oxbow counselor Lucia Stone said mourning is a time when people should be aware of the needs of those affected by loss.

“Grief comes along in feelings of remorse, anger, regret. They become a hurricane that crashes over us, flooding as we question: What could I have done better? How could I have helped? What could I have done to stop this?” she said. “These questions are endless, tortuous and debilitating. It’s how we try to cope individually with the loss. To try and make sense of it. We even shame ourselves for not doing more.”

But when the entire community is hurting from loss, it is called collective grief, she said. It’s a time to come together to support each other.

“Collective grief is a way that some communities mourn together, expressing the depth of the loss and the ripple effect it has had on their lives when grief is experienced collectively,” Stone said.

The impact of collective grief can be profound, she said. It highlights the importance of relationships and a shared identity.

“We define ourselves not just as individuals, but as family, friends, neighbors, as a part of a larger community,” she said. “Collective grief binds us in our shared humanity, reminding us that in every loss, we are never alone. Within that shared experience, something beautiful happens. We unite, we close the gaps that existed before and come together as a whole, and suddenly we are no longer alone, hiding in our room and keeping our grief to ourselves.”

At the meeting to find out about resources and to share her thoughts, resident Alissa Clark said her daughter went to school with Brailey and Olivia Blackmer and when she thought about who she could call to discuss the family’s pain, she realized she didn’t really know her neighbors. She wants to change that and is seeking the benefits of collective grief.

“As a neighbor and as somebody that has lived here for 15 years, let’s get to know our neighbors. Let’s all get together and know our neighbors. Not just at church, not just at an outing. Let’s create a group, a community research resource group here for moms or dads that are struggling,” she said, to the “amens” of several in the meeting.

Josh Foster, director of Downrange Warriors and a Lovell resident, came to the meeting to offer the organization’s free services. He said the organization has a staff of trauma-informed coaches funded by the Wyoming Veterans Commission.

Downrange Warriors is a Cody nonprofit organization serving veterans and first responders with a mix of intimate knowledge of what it takes to make a career out of seeing people on their worst day and a goal of saving lives.

The organization’s mission is to prevent suicide by those coping with the adversities of post-traumatic stress of war and law enforcement that wound the heart, mind and soul. They advertise trauma healing through a variety of methods, including outdoor activities, interventions, ongoing weekly meetings, dog therapy, horse therapy and honest communication and transparency.

“Let’s move forward from here,” Foster said. “It’s OK to be upset, but it’s what we do with that and what we do with our fear, how we how we handle and tackle the situation and make something positive out of us for our future generations.”

There were other organizations and individuals in attendance, including One Health, which offers counseling and health care on a sliding scale, and Remember This Ranch, a new organization that focuses on grief, trauma, anxiety, depression and empowerment of young women and girls.

Before ending the organized part of the meeting, Mayor Clark brought a little humor to the otherwise very serious event.

“I’m going to tell on the governor. He called me the day this happened, and he said there’s resources out there, so if you need money, I got his phone number,” he said to laughs.

An attendee said “One word that has been missing tonight is humor,” implying that sometimes laughter is good medicine.

The governor, with perfect timing and to end the meeting, said, “I’m the laughing stock here?”

Folks stayed at the Byron Town Hall well past 8 p.m. having refreshments and enjoying conversations with those called on to help the Byron community start moving forward.