Guest Column

May is Mental Excellence Month

By Iuri Melo
Posted 5/18/23

Your psychology is everything!  The way you see yourself, the way you see others, and the way you interpret the events in your life, matter more than the events themselves.  I often tell my …

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Guest Column

May is Mental Excellence Month

Posted

Your psychology is everything!  The way you see yourself, the way you see others, and the way you interpret the events in your life, matter more than the events themselves.  I often tell my clients that if they wish to live an extraordinary life, they must possess an extraordinary psychology.  The personal beliefs that you consciously and unconsciously hold within yourself, will directly impact the quality, happiness, and success that you will experience in your life.  In this sense, your personal beliefs act as a lens through which you filter and interpret your life.

For the past 150 years psychology has mainly focused on the negative aspects of our psyche:

How depressed we are

How anxious and Paranoid we can be

How abnormal our psychology is

How we are driven by sexual and violent impulses

In the past 60 years, psychology turned a corner that first began as the idea that mankind wasn’t just driven by repressed aggressive and sexual drives, but that we were all inherently driven to self-actualize.  This vision continued to expand to a greater emphasis on positive psychology, and the study of happiness, success, meaning, and purpose.  The focus shifted from mental illness, to mental health, and more specifically on how to promote that mental health.   

So what does positive psychology look like, sound like, act like?  I thought you would never ask.  It begins with a simple premise that happiness isn’t just an emotion, it’s a skill and a series of strategies that we can implement in our life, that compel and encourage joy.  These skills and strategies are meant to train our brain to be more hopeful, more optimistic, more grateful, more aware of opportunities, and more aligned with our objectives.  These strategies are a kind of eye surgery that is meant to replace and enhance our current and faulty lens, with a much more effective and empowering one.  

Positive psychology is concerned with the ‘flourishing’ of mankind, and how to teach people like you and me, the kinds of skills, strategies, and mindset that will propel us toward a richer life. (we can remove this line to save on space) 

These skills are needed now more than ever, and especially for our children.  The CDC and the surgeon general have raised our awareness to what they have labeled “A Mental Health Crisis” among teens, with special emphasis being placed on our teen girls.  

One to three teenage girls report having seriously considered suicide (60% increase)

60% of teenage girls report feeling persistently sad and hopeless

20% report experiencing rape or sexual assault

Feelings of persistent sadness and hopelessness affected more than one-third of kids of all races and ethnicities and increased over previous years.

Rates of suicide among teens raised accross all demographics.

In response to this ‘mental health crisis’ many people have courageously jumped into the arena with solutions, volunteering, and a tsunami of ideas meant to intervene.  The 988 text and crisis line are part of a shift to provide those who are suicidal with a live and caring person, who can intervene and assist.  But our efforts have to be more proactive and preventative.  We can’t just be a ‘fire extinguisher’ on the wall, waiting for crises to happen, and then jumping into the fray.  Our efforts must be proactive, preventative, and educational in nature.  Modeling and teaching our children to create and maintain positive relationships.  Helping them to develop a growth mindset instead of a fixed mindset.  Encouraging our children to welcome a challenge, and teaching them the value of perseverance.  Promoting hope and optimism.  Teaching our children how to see opportunities in the midst of obstacles.  These are benign principles that can easily fit in a friendly and collaborative way, with any set of beliefs or orientation.  

We’ve had the privilege of speaking with tens of thousands of teens throughout the country during this turbulent time.  What have they been saying and asking?  Over the next few weeks, we will reveal to you what they have been asking us, and how we have responded. 

 

(Iuri Melo is a renowned authority in his field and co-founder of Copilot.Org and SchoolPulse.Org. With over 20 years of experience as a licensed therapist and two published books, “Mind Over Grey Matter” and “Know Thy Selfie,” Iuri has received numerous awards and accolades for his outstanding work. He hosts the most popular podcast for teens in the country and his passion for helping people shines through in everything he does. Through his proactive positive psychology service, he inspires deep, lasting change in individuals. To learn more about Iuri and his work, visit SchoolPulse.Org or Copilot.Org)

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