The students are settling in at Northwest College, so the time is right to share some bachelor recipes. Much like students, bachelors are too busy to actually cook; they get grouchy when hungry, and they try to be mindful of their nutritional needs for fueling their active lifestyle.

The first rule of bachelor cooking is do not use the oven.

That being said, the grill is your best friend. Meat plus fire equals a meal — always.

But there’s not always time for grilling out, and that is a problem bachelor chefs try to solve by avoiding the kitchen at all costs. Instead, they utilize lunch meat, raw vegetables, fruit, jerky, granola, protein shakes, power bars and peanut butter with everything.

The second rule of bachelor cooking is all foods are improved with peanut butter — always.

Got an apple and a hunting knife? Slice the apple up and smother it with peanut butter. Peanut butter and bananas were a favorite combo for Elvis, and if it’s good enough for the King then it’s good enough for you.

Don’t have any fruit? No problem, just eat the peanut butter straight from the jar.

The third rule of bachelor cooking is three meals a day is unacceptable; graze all day instead.

Granola bars, mixed nuts, fruit and mixed vegetables such as baby carrots and broccoli are prime for nonstop grazing. Active lifestyles mean the metabolism is always in overdrive, so keep the fuel tank full with anything and everything found in the produce section.

Protein shakes are also a staple in the bachelor cookbook, since bachelorhood comes with a gym membership and an obsession with “making epic gains.” That magical powder is intended to build a body like Schwarzenegger, but it’s surprisingly versatile and can even be used for making pancakes.

Unfortunately, that requires cooking, and that means dirty dishes — a sacrifice not worth making. Dishes are the enemy, don’t touch them.

Instead, fill a blender ball tumbler about two-thirds of the way with orange juice, load in two massive scoops of protein powder and fill it the rest of the way with milk, then shake it up for a protein and vitamin overload that tastes sort of like an orange julius — it’s a meal. Afterward, fill the tumbler with dish soap and water, shake it up and rinse — it’s clean.

Now, you’re free to go about your usual routine of bench pressing Volkswagens, wrestling bears and sprinting up Heart Mountain.   

If there’s anything that can be learned from old cartoons, it’s that spinach is magic. If it made Popeye able to twist steel rods into pretzels, then it definitely is on the bachelor’s grocery list. In reality, spinach is the king of the leafy greens, since it’s loaded with iron and other vitamins that can prevent illness and make blood clot faster. Who needs band-aids when you’re consuming 500 percent of the daily recommended value of Vitamin K?

Vegetables and fruits have the vitamins covered, protein shakes, power bars and peanut butter have the protein covered. What about the carbs?

The fourth rule of bachelor cooking is pizza is always an option — always.

It has meat, tomato sauce, cheese and vegetables, and, best of all, it requires no utensils and no cooking if it’s delivered.

But, too much pizza can be a bad thing, no matter how active a person may be. Save it for rest days, or special occasions such as when you score an amazing coupon and Netflix has a fresh batch of Longmire to binge-watch. (As is the case right now.)

On a typical day, PB&J sandwiches, whole grain bread, Wheaties and bagels can cover carb needs without touching the stove or oven.

When all else fails, there’s always beer — it’s liquid bread and a meal in a bottle.